There's a stigma that people like me (non-neurotypical) will never be able to cope well in a world created for neurotypicals, yet I have managed to do it that my entire life (more recently, better than I ever have). People ask me the question "How do you cope living with a learning disability and two anxiety disorders?" I have decided to answer their question with this blog post.
Needless to say, there were some rough years when I was a teenager (picture a moody teenager. Now picture it amplified 10 times - that was me). Medication was used on me as a last resort . I am incredibility thankful that my parents put me on it, because if I weren't on it, I wouldn't have been where I am today. I am proud to say, with the help of my psych professionals, I am starting to wean off of the mood stabilizer and it has been successful thus far. I've been on a lower dose for a week on Tuesday and I feel better than I have in a long time.
It
is hard living with these problems - it does take a toll on the mind, the body, and the soul. No matter how much treatment I receive, there will always be a few screws loose in my brain, and through years of therapy, support, and soul-searching, I am 100% okay with that. That is only because I learned to cope.
The first step to me learning to cope was to find my support system. Growing up I never had many friends - I have poor social skills and I am an introvert (a double whammy right there). I used to be upset in high school because I wasn't super popular, and it made me quite moody and verbally abusive to the support system I couldn't see that I had. It led me to some dangerous situations, but I learned to cope without doing these dangerous habits. It unfortunately took a huge life event to make me realize how much my family meant to me. I always knew they were proud of me, but it took me years to realize how much they truly help me and how much I could truly lean on them. Yes, we fight still - that's what family is for, but I have never felt closer to them, and this made me see that I will be okay.
The second step to me learning to cope was to start listening to people and stop doing whatever I felt was fit. I
HATED going to therapy when I was younger - I hated having someone tell me what to do and giving me criticism (part of me still does). I would cry and scream whenever I had to go to therapy. As I grew older and had more of a say, I realized my therapist was not a good fit for me. I went to counseling in college for a while and joined some support groups to gain coping skills - those were invaluable to me. Then after that, I found my excellent counselor - she is so easy to talk to and she has helped me through so much. I can't help to think that if I listened earlier, what else could I have accomplished earlier on? But I know I can't dwell on the past and I am grateful on how it shaped me.
Finally, in order to cope, I had to learn to be okay with myself and that my life path may not go exactly how a 'normal' person's would go. This was the hardest step - it took years to build up my self-esteem, but it was well worth it. I am now a strong, independent, level-headed person (well most of the time, at least) who takes initiative. I have held leadership roles and I feel like I can tackle anything that comes ahead of me. I will be fine. I will be happy. I will earn what is rightfully mine.
I still have my bad days - where the coping is hard. But I have come up with mechanisms to help me through them. I write to help me get through those days - sometimes here, and sometimes privately. I vent to people - in real life or on the internet (I have great internet friends - and I am fine with the fact I have more of those than "real life" friends). I dance, I exercise, I make lists, and I set goals to level my head once again. I may not be able to always cope perfectly, but I am making my way through life pretty well.
