I Did It!

I did it - I graduated college last Saturday! I couldn't be more proud of myself, and everyone around me is equally as proud of me. I made it through 18 years of schooling - through blood, sweat, and tears (well maybe not the blood part). I battled a learning disability. I battled severe anxiety. I battled social issues, and dysgraphia, and physical issues. I've accomplished more than a lot of people in my position have.



I can't believe how fast the past four years have gone by. I feel like I was just the naive, socially awkward 17 year old girl earning her high school diploma. That was a battle in itself (mostly an inner battle with my low self esteem), and I wouldn't have believed anyone if they told me I would graduate college with honors. But, I did it - I graduate college and I am SO proud of myself.

It took a lot for me to be able to say these positive things about myself. In my sophomore year of college, I decided to say "enough is enough" and tackle my issue of low self esteem. I started my very first blog - Vintage-Kissed (it is no longer up and I unfortunately lost all my hard work), but then I changed the name to Positive-365, because that was what I was aiming for. I lived by motivational quotes, I sought being fit and healthy, I learned how to better myself.

This process really kicked off after a bad break up in the summer of 2012, and I will be forever grateful for that breakup (though, I probably wouldn't have said that at that time). It forced me to go out of my comfort zone and change things in my life. I tried joining a sorority that fall (yes - a socially awkward, anxious girl confronting over 20 girls). It didn't work out (hey, my anxiety had to kick in sometime), but it taught me that I could meet people. It taught me that I had charisma, strength, and the ability to live a somewhat normal life.

In  the summer of 2013, I decided to explore the "negative" aspects of myself (which turns out isn't so negative). I was going through an extremely rough time with my anxiety and trying to cope with my NLD, so I joined some support groups via Facebook. I have met TONS of wonderful people (some of whom are my close friends now), who helped me realize that these things make me who I am. They make me a kinder person. They make me a gentler person. They give me a strong sense of empathy. And most importantly, they give me a perspective of the world that most people don't have. Overall, because of my disorders, I am a better person. With the help of a med change, and my new-found friends, I began to fully blossom into the person I am today.

Today, I am a confident, strong, independent woman. I know I have had my hardships, but ultimately, I am an awesome person, despite them. I will always keep growing and I will always find solitude in myself. I still can't believe I did it - I graduated college.

The reasons why working at home is best for me.

I decided that I want to work at home. A lot of people would consider me a "shut in," when it's far from the truth.

Though, I have mild agorophobia when my anxiety is extremely bad and untreated, I actually do enjoy going out on most days and, in fact, when school is in session, I do. I'd just prefer if my career was from home for several reasons:

1.  I don't drive, therefore commuting is a lot harder for me. I don't live in a huge city. Though we have a public transportation in my city, they're constantly making cuts. The schedules for busing aren't good and the stops aren't close together.
   
2. I HATE being constantly watched over. I'm extremely independent and self-motivated. Therefore, I don't like being constantly supervised and constantly receiving criticism.
   
3. I like creating my own environment. I like being able to play music when I work or have the TV on in the background. I also like being able to multitask and do my laundry and cook during the day.
    
4. I like being in control. I like being in control of my own schedule and working as much and as little as I want on a certain day. I meet my deadlines, but I like doing my work at my own pace. That's what it's like in college and that's why I'm succeeding so much. I'm the type to work from 11-7 or 12-8. Like I said in my last post, I'm not your typical 9-5 gal.